Twitterscript of Jane Gross, a “Dear Abby” of Caregiving
by Susan Leem, associate producer
Krista brought Jane Gross to our attention at our weekly Monday staff meeting as someone who knows aging intimately from the “far shore of caregiving.”
This Pulitzer-nominated journalist developed her expertise on caregiving and aging not just vocationally, but through living this experience with her elderly mother in her final years.
She started The New Old Age blog for The New York Times and shared her most joyful moments and unexpected insights from role reversals of “becoming my mother’s mother” to learning how to collaborate with her adult sibling. She also has a book called A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents and Ourselves.
Putting words around end-of-life issues is such a difficult task that, even in our tweets, it became difficult to substitute the words “death,” “dying,” or “aging” literally when she used demonstratives like “this” and “that” to represent those ideas in conversation.
We live-tweeted highlights of this 90-minute conversation, which we’re aggregating and reposting for those who weren’t able to follow along. Follow us next time at @BeingTweets:
- @Janegross settling in at the mic as Krista begins her interview! 15 Jun
- “I don’t even remember SEEING old people when I was growing up.” -author Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “Very few people tell you along the way that just because you CAN fix X or Y doesn’t mean that you should.” -Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “My mother and I had a difficult relationship. I didn’t race to the loving caregiver’s role with an open heart.” -author Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “It kicks up all the dust of childhood, everyone becomes who they were when they were 10.” -Jane Gross on the stress of caregiving 15 Jun
- “(My brother and I) thought the faster we moved, the faster we could get back to what our lives were like before.” -Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “Most of us are more afraid of the process (of dying) than the fact.” -author Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “The idea of how to get through this by yourself makes my hair stand up.” -Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “It’s pretty likely gonna be a friend (to take care of me at the end of my life).” -Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “My only personal solution to this is to be very conservative on the financial side. I don’t have children to pick up the slack.”-J.G. 15 Jun
- “I’m not sure it’s as bad when it actually happens than to watch it happen.” -Jane Gross on aging. 15 Jun
- “Rather than squeeze your eyes shut, you decide that there’s something interesting about it in the kind of spiritual life cycle sense.”-JG 15 Jun
- “One of the great gifts of being a journalist is you get to poke around at ‘these’ things before they’re your things.”-Jane Gross 15 Jun
- “I have seen what courage can be when there is no hope.” -May Sarton in Jane Gross’s “Bittersweet Season” 15 Jun
- “You find out what you’re made of. If there’s any advantage to having a long slow dying its the time to get things right.”-Jane Gross 15 Jun
Photo by Michael Lionstar.