Women consistently underestimate how much their husbands do. Women don’t necessarily give his contribution the same value as theirs. They don’t always recognize that what he does with the kids is a form of care, too.

—Stephanie Coontz, a marriage historian, as quoted from "Now, Dad Feels as Stressed as Mom" in Friday’s New York Times

As a father of two boys, Lucian and Rainier, I can attest to the range of feelings described in this piece. In the end, I cherish that I live in a time when the relationship between Bella and me is deepening in unforeseen ways precisely because of these layers of shared responsibility. Yes, the stress levels are elevated. But so is the joy that comes with quiet moments of satisfaction and sympathy for Bella’s plight.

What I’ve learned: spend less time keeping tabs and more time talking and trying. Happy Father’s Day to all you parents out there. Keep on celebrating!

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